Monday, April 25, 2011

Love is -THE- Movement


To Write Love on Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide.  TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery.

This cause is near and dear to my heart.  I was diagnosed with Depression in 2005. Here is my story. 

 I was always kind of the odd one out, I felt like that weird person that no one seemed to understand. I felt like a stranger in my own body. I was kind of a nerd, and a chubby one at that; at least.. I thought I was chubby. My nose was always buried in a book, and I didn't have the best taste in clothing because my family was quite poor at the time.  In high school, I was definitely not someone who was the prom queen, or even really that  popular. I was known as Veronica's cousin. Veronica was the pretty one, the popular one, the one who always knew the right things to say, had the nicest clothes, and was just plain NICE; she was (AND IS) a good person, my best friend.  I somehow got a boyfriend and life was good for a time. For about 4 years, to be exact.. But shortly after we moved in together when I was 20,  I found myself spiraling downhill. I rarely slept, barely ate, and even doing daily tasks such as showering was a struggle. My fiancée thought it was just because I was lazy and wanted to play SL all day. In a way..he was correct.. My ex was very verbally abusive without meaning to be. I gained a lot of weight during the first couple years we were together and at first he loved it..but then he didn't and would make snide comments about how fat i looked, how i was physically unattractive to him, how he would rather look at porn and..ya know..than be with me. His family hated me, they saw me as a leech because I wasn't employed at the time, his brother was allowed (even encouraged) to make fun of me at every chance he got..he was 13 at the time..and me, a grown adult...I was distant from my own family, who only lived 20 mins away and I hadn't seen them in what felt like was years. Second Life was my outlet, my salvation, and my addiction. We would fight constantly about Second Life, about who I was talking to..what i was doing..why i couldn't just be a normal girlfriend who didn't play computer games all day...From all the verbal abuse, and sometimes physical...I started to feel worthless, a waste of space.  I got to the point where I wanted to end it. Life was just too painful for me to continue. One night, an hour or so after a fight via text, my fiancée at the time came home to find that I was in the bathtub of our apartment with a bottle of sleeping pills and Tylenol on the bathroom counter. Now, I'm not sure if you know this..but Tylenol suicides are very common. Anyway, he called the Ambulance and I was put on suicide watch for 24 hours, after they pumped my stomach, of course. A woman named CeeCee sat with me for the first 12 hours of my suicide watch. Talking to her, and just having someone to listen to me helped a whole lot. I don't think she realized how much of an impact she made on my life just by being there to listen, even if she was paid to be there. 

My name is Shamrawk Bailly, and I am a suicide survivor. Thank god for that. Life is worth living, even when I wanna tear my hair out because it's not going how I want it to..I am worthy of love, even if I haven't quite gotten there yet.

Thanks for reading my story.

Onto the pics. All things mentioned below can be found here - Your Taxi

TWLOHA Blogpost Take 2

(left to right)
Shirt - A:S:S - Love tank for TWLOHA
Shorts - A:S:S - Shipwrecked shorts for TWLOHA
* RezIpsa Loc * ~ Love in black

Shirt - [w]under lovemovement tee
Jewelry - :::LiNe::: Dreams  in Blue
Shoes - Absolution - Cotton Rose Flats in Teal

Shirt - * RezIpsa Loc * ~ Love in Black
Shoes - Absolution - Cotton Rose Flats in Eggplant

Poses : STaTUS

TWLOHA 2 redone

Dresses - ~*INDIE ROSE*~ Floral Overlay Dress (PINK AND BLUE)

Poses - Baffle and Bent


Shirt - * RezIpsa Loc * ~ Love in Pink
Shirt -  [arnadi] - Hoodie Tshirt "to write love on her arms"
Poses - Bent


Eyes - .ID. Shadow Eyes Set 2
Piercing - [-iPoke-] Silencia

Once again.. here is Your Taxi. All of the proceeds from this event go towards To Write Love On Her Arms.


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